pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
