I heard we made out
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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