is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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