You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
