so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
