Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
