Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
