She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
