I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
