So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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