Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
