im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
