Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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