shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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