hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
