sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
