You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Success! We fucked roommates!
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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