I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
