You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
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