We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Randomize
