my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
try to milk me bitch
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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