New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
