I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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