Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
then he tried to convert me to islam
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
How external is "for external use only"?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
