One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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