and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Randomize
