I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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