Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
