North Korea, Best Korea!
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize