id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
