Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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