Are we in a gay sports bar?
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
