Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
