woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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