piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Randomize
