Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
