why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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