You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
"it" just moved
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
