I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
