so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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