Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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