There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
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