When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
