captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
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