32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
