its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
