i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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