So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
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