i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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