You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
