ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Randomize
