If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
