how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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