i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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