But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
