he puts the penis in happiness.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
