i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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