I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize