Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
